Marietta Episode 7 from the TV Ratings Guide!




Patty Lynn: Can you believe ladies singles starts tonight?
Marietta: I know! I’ve been waiting for this for four years!
Patty Lynn: I’m so excited for our girls viewing party! You, me, Tammy, Kate, and the other one!
Marietta: Ellie. You’ve known her for twenty years.
Patty Lynn: I have?
Marietta: Yes. We watched the last five Olympics together.
Patty Lynn: Oh.
Marietta: You saw her last month at my farewell speech.
Patty Lynn: I did?
Marietta: She’s the senator from Massachusetts. You went to her wedding.
Patty Lynn: The one in Cape Cod?
Marietta: Yep. The one where you got drunk and dad left you behind.
Patty Lynn: I didn’t want to bring that up.
Marietta: Well, it happened.
Patty Lynn: I’m gonna go get the snacks ready.
Marietta: Are they Olympics themed? I won’t eat them if they aren’t.
Patty Lynn: Well, I have onion rings that I can put in the shape of the Olympic rings.
Marietta: Oh my goodness, I’m kidding mom! But do that with the onion rings, that’ll really wow the girls!
Meanwhile, Milton and Martin are reading the newspaper when Milton notices a major story.
Milton: Dad, have you seen this?
Martin: Have I seen what?
Milton: This story.
Martin: Let me see.
Martin grabs the paper and reads the top headline aloud.
Martin: Councilor Applewhite Gearing Up for Mayoral Bid?
Milton: Yep. I’m actually kind of worried about it.
Martin: Don’t be. Your sister was a US Senator. She has enough name recognition that she can beat her.
Milton: I don’t know. Amy has a special connection to New Orleans.
Martin: So does Marietta! She’s a part of this family!
Milton: Amy doesn’t care about this family. She doesn’t even care about her own family!
Martin: What’s that supposed to mean?
Milton: She ran against her grandmother for city council in 1996.
Martin: She was just very dedicated to politics.
Milton: Even more reason to worry! She’s so dedicated to winning that she ran what was then called
the most viscous campaign in New Orleans history! Against her own grandmother!
Martin: Let’s worry about that when we have to. For now, let the girls enjoy their figure skating.
Four hours later…
Kate: We’re here!!!
Marietta: Yay, just in time! Sarah and Scott are currently explaining why they’re dressed like they’re hosting the Hunger Games.
Kate: Cool, so we didn’t miss anything. Tammy and Ellie are down there unloading the car.
Marietta: Y’all are gonna be here for three weeks, how much stuff did you need?
Kate: Clearly you’ve never traveled with Ellie, and for that, you should feel thankful.
Ellie: Fear no longer, for I have arrived!
Tammy (sounding exhausted): As have I!
Marietta: Tammy, are you okay?
Tammy: I’m fine. Would’ve been better if Ellie had carried more than one bag, but I’ll survive.
Marrietta: Let me take some of that to the guest rooms. I was just staying in one of them last week and it sure was nice.
Tammy: I’m taking the good room!
Marietta: I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Kate: Guys, it’s starting get in here!
Three hours later…
Marietta: Oh, finally the good ones!
Milton: What were you watching for three hours?
Marietta: The ones that don’t have a shot in hell.
Milton: Cool. Time well spent.
Announcer: Representing the United States, Veronica Cornwallis
Marietta: Can you believe this girl is from Louisiana?
Patty Lynn: She is? We don’t have ice down here!
Marietta: I know! But Veronica overcame that and still got here!
Tammy: Well, Mary Bradshaw, the one who’s actually expected to medal, is from New York! Take that.
Patty Lynn: Take a chill pill, Tammy. They’re both Americans, and we want them both to do well. But maybe they can give the Louisianan the win this time.
Kate: They all say she won’t win anything, but I think you’ve forgotten that I too have a horse in this race! Mariana Boulei is from North Carolina.
Marietta: Boulei? That sounds like a brand of soap.
Kate: Well it’s not! At least not in this case.
Ellie: Umm, Nancy Kerrigan is from Massachusetts.
Marietta: So what?
Ellie: She got a silver and none of your girls will, so…
Marietta: Just watch. Veronica will surprise you.
Ellie: No she won’t. I’m rooting for a real champion. Katarina Mendelev.
Marietta: The Russian?
Ellie: Yep! I wanna win this thing!
Marietta: This is treason and I won’t allow it.
Ellie: How kind of you.
Marietta: SHHH! I want to hear what Sarah and Scott have to say about Veronica!
Sarah: What a disappointing performance for Cornwallis. She was clearly under-rotated a few times
Scott: Yeah, unless she nails that free program better than she ever has, I can’t see a bronze for her, which seemed all but guaranteed before today.
Sarah: With that 64.04, she is in third place. For now.
Marietta: I can’t believe this.
Announcer: Next to skate, representing Canada, Tatiana DuGall.
Kate: She’s good!
Marietta: Shut up.
Patty Lynn: I think you’re taking this a little too personally.
Sarah: That 73.49 is enough to put DuGall way out in front. I think she’s the most unexpected medal contender of this Olympics.
Announcer: Representing Russia, Katarina Mendelev.
Ellie: Go Katarina!!!
Marietta: Fall Katarina!!!
Ellie: Wow, you’re nasty.
Marietta: You bet I am.
Patty Lynn: This is so beautiful.
Tammy: Oh my gosh, I think I might kinda want her to win.
Marietta: I can’t believe this. Y’all are turning on your principles! What happened to rooting for
Team USA?
Tammy: I fell in love with a Russian Ice Princess.
Marietta: Oh my god, give me a break!
Tammy: The heart wants what the heart wants, Marietta.
Sarah: That was an incredible short program. Definitely the best we’ve seen so far.
Scott: And the judges agree, with an 80.17 score. That’s a new best for Mendelev and less than a
point shy of the world record.
Ellie: I know!
Marietta: Wow, didn’t realize I was watching from Moscow.
Ellie: I’d say that that’s mean, but I’ll let it slide because I’m happy.
Announcer: Next, representing the United States, Mariana Boulei.
Kate: I wouldn’t want to skate after Mendelev. This is gonna be tough.
Marietta: I will admit it, I’m really loving this.
Ellie: I know, me too.
Sarah: That’s a triple axel! Mariana Boulei becomes the first woman to land a triple axel in the Olympics!
Scott: And there’s a triple Salchow!
Sarah: And another triple Axel! This is incredible!
Kate: This is the happiest moment of my life.
Tammy: Kate, you’re married with three children.
Kate: Alright, fifth happiest moment of my life.
Marietta: That sounds about right.
Scott: The judges reward that incredible performance with a world record-breaking 88.05.
Sarah: You can hear the screams of Boulei, which rival even mine from 2002.
Kate (jumping up and down): AHHHHHH!!!!
Marietta: I think those screams might just be Kate.
Patty Lynn: That is an amazing number Kate.
Marietta: Mom, I just wanna commend you on somehow being the most normal one here tonight.
Ellie: Hey!
Patty Lynn: Well, I can’t deny it.
Announcer: Our last skater represents the United States, Mary Bradshaw.
Tammy: I’m so conflicted right now.
Marietta: Root for the American!
Tammy: Eh.
Marietta: My goodness.
Sarah: Bradshaw is doing well thus far. She was easily the favorite to make the podium out of the Americans before Boulei came out here and did that.
Scott: Yeah, it looks incredibly difficult at the moment for Bradshaw to medal, but it is possible for her to outperform one of the current silver and bronze favorites, Mendelev and DuGall.
Tammy: She won’t win anything. So I’m on Team Katarina.
Patty Lynn: I’m Team Mariana.
Marietta: Well I haven’t given up on Veronica yet.
Scott: And with that 74.45, Cornwallis will finish the day in third place.
The next night…
Marietta: This is the night! This determines it all.
Kate: I think what you meant to say was that it determined that Mariana would win it all.
Marietta: Maybe.
Kate: This is gonna feel so good. And unlike the rest of you, I’m not even a bandwagon jumper!
Marietta: Just keep calm. Something could go wrong.
Patty Lynn: Hurry the ones we care about are about to come on!
Announcer: Representing the United States, Veronica Cornwallis.
Marietta: I’m so scared.
Scott: Cornwallis is about to go for the triple lutz. And she falls!
Marietta: NOOOOOO!
Sarah: That will almost certainly cost her that bronze medal that she was in contention for after yesterday’s mediocre short program.
Marietta: I just can’t believe this is happening. She’s never done this poorly in competition!
Ellie: You can always join Team Katarina.
Marietta: F*** Katarina.
Ellie: That’s very mean. She never did anything to you!
Marietta: She skated well. That hurt me.
Sarah: You can tell that her spirits are broken. She isn’t really trying anymore.
Scott: That score of 90.16 all but ensures that her Olympics career, at least this year, is over.
Marietta: Oh that’s heartbreaking.
Tammy: I’m sorry.
Announcer: Next to skate, representing the United States, Mariana Boulei.
Kate: WOO!!!
Marietta: Oh, do you have to rub it in?
Tara: Once again, Mariana Boulei is giving an incredible performance. This is an unexpected delight.
Scott: There’s another triple axel! Her third one in this Olympics!
Patty Lynn: She’s nailing it!
Kate: I’m so happy!!!
Scott: And there it is. Quite possibly the greatest performance Boulei has ever given. This is incredible.
Sarah: And with a 167.96, that is another world record.
Kate: She’s unbeatable!
Ellie: Not if Katarina has anything to say about it.
Announcer: Representing Russia, Katarina Mendelev.
Tammy: I love this girl so much. But this is…
Ellie: It ain’t great.
Sarah: I don’t know what’s wrong with her, but this is quite possibly the worst performance I’ve ever seen from Mendelev.
Scott: And with a score of 88.76, she seems to have been knocked tight off the podium.
Sarah: As long as she performs a good skate, it looks like Mary Bradshaw will win a medal this year.
Tammy: What have I done?
Ellie: I’m sad now.
Announcer: From Canada, Tatiana DuGall.
Marietta: What a snooze.
Tammy: It’s pretty, but there isn’t much going on.
Scott: With a score of 130.4, it looks like DuGall is a lock for the podium. She currently sits in second, and has knocked Veronica Cornwallis off the podium.
Announcer: Our last skater, representing the United States, Mary Bradshaw.
Tammy: Team Mary!
Marietta: I guess you’re not a traitor anymore.
Tammy: Guess not!
Scott: This is a great, clean skate. She’s in competition with DuGall for the Silver.
Marietta: I’m still so sad.
Sarah: And it’s over! Mary Bradshaw wins the silver medal, with a gold medal for Mariana Boulei!
Kate: Hey Ellie, I thought Nancy Kerrigan was better than our girls since she’s got silver. Ready to eat those words yet?

WRITTEN BY: Rebecca Bunch
CREATED BY: Rebecca Bunch
PRODUCED BY: Rebecca Bunch,  TVRGO

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